Saltvik, Åland

It took me a while to decide what I want to write about my summer trip to Åland.

The whole experience was just amazing

and it is really hard to pin point something out there above the others.

I will keep posting to instagram about the places I visited during my stay,

but the one thing I can't put in couple pictures,

is the one experience I have no pictures at all.

On the first evening in the Saltvik viking village

we had an opportunity to take a part in Bolt-ritual.

It is a viking ritual,

where we gathered on the old burial mound

with the old gods.

We stand in the stone circle with statues of Odin, Thor and Freya.

There in the darkness of southern evening,

in the light of the burning torches,

we had an opportunity to ask something from the gods

or thank them and give offer to them.

One  by one people stand out to the middle of the circle

and spoke out to the gods and us.

As I stood there,

I could feel something open up inside me

something wanted to come out.

With fear in my whole body and determination in my rapidly beating heart

I walked in the middle of the circle.

Words just came out of my mouth

and as I spoke tears started to run on my cheeks.

I spoke about the feeling

I have carried with me from the beginning.

How I have always had a feeling that I need to explain myself

That I had to excuse myself for being

That I wouldn't have right to be as me.

And how this community of people,

who has viking style of living close to their heart, like I have.

Have given me strength to carry on

by welcoming me to be one of them

in this community of strange people.

The community where I feel normal and accepted.

And how finding the viking worrier inside my have given me strength to believe in myself

and be bravely what I am.

I thanked the gods and all the vikings around me.

And although I was so scared for opening up my inside this deeply

to this many people and I was ready to run away and hide,

I felt deep gratitude when they all rise their horns and yelled

"HEIL!"

And drink with me.

Afterwards, when one and other thank me about my speak

I realized, that I just might had verbalised the feeling that most of us carry deep inside of us,

but that most of us can't express, as we don't have words for the feeling.

Now, here

writing the words again

I hope I can help more people to verbalise this deeply buried feeling.

We are not alone.

And as sharing your deepest feeling can be frightening,

it also show great bravery

and will grow the common understanding and respect among us.